Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
