he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
