i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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