Christians are straight up FREAKS
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize