Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
