i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
