the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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