You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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