I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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