i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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