too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
