Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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