Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
where am i from again
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
