just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
