Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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