I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
