i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
