I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
