He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
