I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Panties = found
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
