Need sex. Gaining weight.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
