But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
