He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
