k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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