Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
