walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
