Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You are a genius and a whore.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
