Christians are straight up FREAKS
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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