I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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