Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
