I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
