My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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