If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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