how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
