I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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