Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
