OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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