My brain says no but my pants say off.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
