Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
