Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize