He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
