if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
