dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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