when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize