mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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