Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
this is an emotional support booty call
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
