kristin has been a bad kristin
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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