Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Sober January is a disaster.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
