i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
What a dumb baby whore.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
