Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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