Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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