How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize