There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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