WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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