I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
