The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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