i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
