Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
