she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
