Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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