I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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