it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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