How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
where are my eyebrows?
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