If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
