The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
All I want is dick and wine.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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