Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
