Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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