i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
