jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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