Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
