I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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