Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
