We're facebook friends in real life
I CAN MOONWALK!
sarcasm needs its own font
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize