U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
