$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
