Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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