i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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