that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
