Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
