my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
