I think I died a long time ago.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
