OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
