I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
