At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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